urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05 Shine on until tomorrow, let it be. Lacey 2008-07-04T06:50:59Z urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:929117 2008-07-04T06:50:59Z 2008-07-04T06:50:59Z So I absolutely love working in the ER. Its only been 3 days, but I honestly am so excited about it. The people I work with seem really great too. Theyre also very understanding to the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing.<br /> Which brings me to the next point. The reason I currently am not sleeping.<br />I had my first real code today. I did compressions (cpr) for the first time. I wasnt going to, I told myself that the first code I would just watch, but everyone encouraged me to do it , even though I was scared.<br /> I'm glad I did. But I know that I'm not going to be able to get that image or feeling out of my head for a while, atleast until I get a little more used to this. I was up on a bed, pushing my palms into this mans chest to make his heart beat. From my point of view I could see the machine pacing, and every compression I did making his heart rate go faster. I could see the respiratory therapists pumping the bag to fill his lungs, and I could see the nurses pushing drugs to try an get him to respond.<br /> I didnt know this man, I never saw his family and I dont even remember his name. But I know that I will see his face for a long time. I cant help but feel sad that he didnt make it, and that no one was there with him while it happened. I know that not everyone can die at 90 years old surrounded by family and loved ones, but you cant help but wonder why certain things happen to certain people.<br /> I think, I hope anyway, that this kind of thing will get easier as I get more experience. But lying in bed next to blake and watching his chest rise and fall, just makes me wonder how one persons heart is beating, and another persons stopped.<br /> It does make it a little easier having faith and knowing everything happens for a reason, everyone has their time. But people going unexpectedly is something I always have, and will definetly struggle with. Learning to not take my work home with me is going to be another.<br /> Its going to be okay. This is just another one of those life lessons we all go through to make us a little stronger and a little wiser. I'm just going to have to accept the things I see, and maybe not question it too much. After all; its, for the most part, out of my hands. I just have to take what I can from it, learn what I can from it, and move on. It might just take me a little while. We all know how emotional and analytical I am. Sometimes, those are a complicated mix. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:928843 2008-05-30T15:23:10Z 2008-05-30T15:23:10Z Things still suck sometimes. But I guess thats life. <br />I am just so ready for this quarter to be over. Spring takes so long. <br />And dealing with this financial aid shit is really annoying. Plus knowing that I'm going to be in even MORE debt by the time I graduate is just awesome. <br />I'm bitter today. <br /><br />But its all going to be okay. I'm going to drink beer and see lynyrd skynyrd with my brother, sister, and dad tonight for my dads 50th birthday. Its going to be a blast. <br /><br />Dont let other people get you down. So not worth it. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:928696 2008-05-14T13:03:45Z 2008-05-14T13:03:45Z Just letting you all know that were still alive. <br /><br />We moved to hamilton. and still havent gotten the internet hooked up. Time Warner is coming a week from today, so I'll be able to communicate again! <br /><br />Our house is amazing. And much, much, much bigger than the last. Its 3 whole bedrooms! 2 stories! crazy. <br />If we ever get living room furniture and get everything organized we'll be having a house warming. Probably this summer. Maybe July because June is looking a little hectic for me. <br /><br />Anyway, things are wonderful. School will be out soon, and this will be a drunken, and exciting summer. <br />I cant wait. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:928292 2008-02-13T17:14:58Z 2008-02-13T17:14:58Z True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another.<br />&lt;3Wedding crashers. <br /><br />Happy Valentines Day to all you lovers. (tomorrow, I know)<br /><br />And Happy 3 Year Anniversary to Blake and I. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:928080 2008-01-03T15:40:45Z 2008-01-03T15:40:45Z 2007 survey<br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />1. What did you do in 2007 that you'd never done before?<br />I moved out of my parents house<br /><br />2. Did you keep your new years' resolutions, and will you make more for next year?<br />I think my new years resolution was to move out. mine for next year is to be healthier. <br /><br />3. Did anyone close to you give birth?<br />Beths sister. I think thats it. <br /><br />4. Did anyone close to you die?<br />I lost my favorite dog. And blakes favorite dog. <br /><br />5. What countries did you visit?<br />None. But i DID go to NYC<br /><br />6. What would you like to have in 2008 that you lacked in 2007?<br />Money. Confidence. A healthy self image. <br /><br />7. What date from 2007 will remain etched upon your memory, and why?<br />May 1st, The day I moved in. And July, when I saw Rage against the machine in NY<br /><br />8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?<br />FINALLY finishing my anatomy and physiology series. <br /><br />9. What was your biggest failure?<br />Being broke. Having a credit card bill thats 2000$<br /><br />10. Did you suffer illness or injury?<br />I dont think so....<br /><br />11. What was the best thing you bought?<br />My trip to NYC. <br /><br />12. Whose behavior merited celebration?<br />um. Blakes. for putting up with my crazy ass. <br /><br />13. Whose behavior made you appalled and depressed?<br />um. i dont know. <br /><br />14. Where did most of your money go?<br />Bills. Rent. <br /><br />15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?<br />Moving out<br /><br />16. What song will always remind you of 2007?<br />Anything Rage. Wu tang. <br /><br />17. Compared to this time last year, are you:<br /><br />i. happier or sadder?<br /><br />much happier. <br /><br />ii. thinner or fatter?<br /><br />sigh. fatter. <br /><br />iii. richer or poorer?<br /><br />poorer.<br /><br />18. What do you wish you'd done more of?<br />Im keeping beths answer. sex. haha. and saving money. <br /><br />19. What do you wish you'd done less of?<br />cry<br /><br />22. Did you fall in love in 2007?<br />in a different way. I'm learning slowly that living with someone is 100 percent different than dating. <br /><br />24. What was your favorite TV program?<br />Wheel of fortune! watch it every night. <br /><br />25. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?<br />I dont think I hate anyone. But I still hold the 2 grudges that I always will. <br /><br />26. What was the best book you read?<br />You know. The only book ive read this year is a Sylvia Browne book. Nursing school prevents reading. <br /><br />27. What was your greatest musical discovery?<br />Going to NYC. Its so unlike here. The people at that festival were not the people you would think. it was an amazing sense of what a music 'scene' should be. Nothing like here. <br /><br />28. What did you want and get?<br />To be able to sleep in the bed with blake every night. <br /><br />29. What did you want and not get?<br />Money.<br /><br />30. What was your favorite film of this year?<br />Cinderella. I know its my favorite movie ever, but, I started watching it at night to put me to sleep when i was upset. <br /><br />31. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?<br />Turned 20. And I really dont remember. <br /><br />32. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?<br />Being a little more trusting. <br /><br />33. How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2007?<br />I tried to be prettier. And wearing normal clothes. <br /><br />34. What kept you sane?<br />Blake. thats about it. <br /><br />35. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?<br />Im not sure. <br /><br />36. What political issue stirred you the most?<br />That Edgewood is randomly drug testing all the students. that really pushed my buttons. I will always be bitter toward that school anyway because of the way the students are treated, but, the idea that in a world today no one has the choice to live their lives how they wish, whether or not they are under the age of 18, is sickening. That is the prime time in every persons life that they 'experiment' and if you dont have that time in high school, when will it come? <br /><br />37. Who did you miss?<br />My grandparents. with out a doubt. This made 1 year for my grandma. 2 for my grandpa. <br /><br />38. Who was the best new person you met?<br />i don't know....<br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:927961 2007-11-22T13:45:49Z 2007-11-22T13:45:49Z <b>Linus van Pelt</b>: In the year 1621, the Pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: 'We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice."<br /><b>Peppermint Patty</b>: Amen. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:927742 2007-11-18T00:25:38Z 2007-11-18T00:25:38Z Bebe sleeping More and more I find myself being jealous of the people I know that are having babies, and are starting their own families. I know I always tell myself that I wouldn't be able to handle it, but all I've ever wanted out of life is to be a wife and a mommy. To have a family to raise my own way, and to deeply impact a life the way mothers do. <br />I know that going to school is a good thing. I know that I will be glad in 2 years when the lowest I will be starting out at is 25$ an hour. I know I will be glad when I can afford to have the house I want, and the cars I want. I know I will be glad when Blake and I won't have to struggle when we decide to have babies. But something inside just pulls at me every time I see a pregnant woman, or a young couple with a new baby. <br />It'll come one day though. And maybe this way I'll appreciate it that much more. <br />Working at the hospital makes me believe more and more in everything happening for a reason. I know it will work out the way it was supposed to. <br /><br />Speaking of school, this quarter will be over on tuesday, and I will officially be done with Anatomy and Physiology for the rest of my life. But I will still have to go through Pharmacology and Microbiology. I am having trouble deciding what to do with the next phase of my life, which seems silly because I havent even starting nursing classes yet. I guess I have plenty of time to figure that out. <br /><br />Oh, and OSU killed Michigan today. That makes me happy. Somehow, I love football. Especially college. <br /><br />Thanksgiving is thursday, my favorite day of the year is friday, (shopping!) and christmas is coming soon. I LOVE this time of year! <br />Hooray to having my own place to decorate however the hell I want! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:927255 2007-09-19T15:09:54Z 2007-09-19T15:09:54Z I just realized I haven't updated in over a month. I never update anymore. But I check it probably every day or every other day. <br /><br />I have pink eye. And it really sucks. I had to call off. I never have a real check anymore. <br /><br />I have been cleaning all morning instead of studying. I need to finish cleaning so that I can study, but I took an online detour, and now I'm actively putting it off. Evening classes are much harder to go to than morning classes. I dont think I'll be able to do this anymore. haha. <br />But winter quarter I'm going to take Pharm online. That will be good for me. No class is a good class. <br /><br />The end of this month is going to be a hard time. It'll be one year since my grandma's passing, and 2 years for my grandpa. I dont know if its easier or harder to deal with, them being so close together. I'm going to try to occupy myself a little more this fall. <br /><br />I am really excited for halloween. and the Ren fest. and thanksgiving. and CHRISTMAS. Heck yeah. <br />I think we are going to an apple fest this weekend? I love fall festivals. Its the best. <br /><br />Alright thats enough. Hope all is well for everyone else. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:927111 2007-08-10T17:45:25Z 2007-08-10T17:45:25Z party stuff <br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br />3744 HAMILTON MASON RD<br />HAMILTON, OHIO 45011<br /><br />take liberty fairfield to hamilton mason. turn right. 3744. Its on the right.<br />Bring a tent. and 5$ if you want to drink. to help us pay for the kegs.<br /><br />better come bitches!<br /><br />kthanks!<br /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:926950 2007-08-08T16:17:19Z 2007-08-08T16:17:19Z At Blake's step-dad's house. <br />I'll find directions somewhere if you need them. It's on hamilton-mason. It's not hard to find. <br /><br />Were staying outside. In the field. Bring a tent if you want to stay. <br />Did I mention it's a DOUBLE kegger? <br />So bring 5 bucks if you want to drink. <br /><br />And... you should come so its not just Blakes friends. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:926615 2007-07-30T15:00:12Z 2007-07-30T15:00:12Z So just got home last night. It was really neat. Rage was crazy. Public enemy and Wu Tang were crazy too. Cypress hill and the roots. + all the hundred others we saw. I mostly hung out in the grass on the side and made some hippie friends, but hey, its what I do. <br />New York was okay. If you've seen it on tv, you've seen it. It's loud, dirty, and smoggy. you can't breathe. People are really big assholes. But I loved china town. Its like a huge flea market. Everything is soo cheap. I finally got a d+g purse, but it rained on the day i was gonna finish shopping so I couldnt get sunglasses or a wallet. Or anyone souveniors. =(<br />Blake and I rode the horse carriage in central park, and then walked back to the hotel 11 blocks in the POURING rain. It was nice though. &lt;3 us time in far away places. Saw alot of cool things though. Most of them in the rain. Trump tower(beautiful!!), rockefellar center, louis vuiton, nbc studios, carnegie hall, central park- which was amazing btw. Next time I go there, i want to go spend alot of the walking around the park.. time square. Saw the naked cowboy. Rode a subway and a bus. The boys wouldnt take a taxi. Got attack by a chinese lady trying to give me a massage... All in all it was a fun trip. <br /><br />Oh yeah, and thursday Ivy, drew, kelcie and I went to see Eight Days a Week. The beatles tribute band. It was the most fun I've had in a really long time. Ivy and I danced and sang by the stage the entire time. a few others in the crowd came up too, but mostly everyone else sat stone faced and bored. Screw them. I had a great time. haha. <br /><br />Does best buy sell forget cassettes? I want the new cd. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:926381 2007-07-26T19:48:06Z 2007-07-26T19:48:06Z So at Midnight tonight, we are leaving for New York City to go see Rage Against the Machine. <br />I am so excited. <br />I will take lots of pictures. So expect them. <br /><br />&lt;3 me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:925988 2007-07-12T23:19:15Z 2007-07-12T23:19:15Z Is anything going on tonight? <br />I need something to do.. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:925731 2007-07-08T18:37:31Z 2007-07-08T18:37:31Z I love when drunk, knife-weilding rednecks come to my door at 2 in the morning and want to fight my boyfriend in the street because he thinks we stole his cat and lied to him about it. <br />What. The. Fuck. <br />So now theres an angry redneck across the street who wants to kill Blake. Because when he came to the door at 11, and said he was looking for a YELLOW cat, we said we havent seen one. Maybe because the cat we found, at KROGER, is orange and white? As you can guess, said rednecks got more wasted, and came back at 2am and trespassed on my property, stole the cat out of the cage in the back, and then came to the door, trying to kill my boyfriend. <br /><br />Now were afraid hes going to come back with his redneck friends and do something to me, blake, the dog, or the house. <br />I think we might be moving. Great. <br /><br />My life is insane. <br /><br />Charles where were you when we needed you? haha. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:925182 2007-06-22T00:47:21Z 2007-06-22T00:47:21Z Charles, Tony, Sara, Blake and myself are gonna have a fire tonight, and have a few beers at our place. So anyone come by if you want. Just hangin out. <br />Call me if you need directions. <br />&lt;3me! urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:924695 2007-06-21T14:40:39Z 2007-06-21T14:40:39Z Depending on which day I'm off work, who wants to go see Forget Cassettes with me? One of these days<br /><br />Jul 12 2007 8:00P<br /> THE PEARL Dayton, Ohio<br />Jul 13 2007 8:00P<br /> SOUTHGATE HOUSE Cincinnati, Ohio urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:924671 2007-06-07T13:37:29Z 2007-06-07T13:37:29Z Even though everyone that reads this, probably read's charles' too... <br />Were tryin to get people together to go bowling tonight. Probably 7ish. Maybe dinner too? whatever. <br />let one of us know if you want to go. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:924292 2007-05-25T19:38:20Z 2007-05-25T19:38:20Z Living in a house with no air conditioning kind of sucks. We have one window unit, probably gonna have to buy some more. It's not so bad yet, but I just know that when July comes, it's gonna be terrible. <br /><br />Today was my last 8 hour shift. Goin back to 12s. I am not excited. <br /><br />I have a new found obsession. Being a nosy neighbor. Its just too easy when we all live so close. and the house across the street is in perfect view from my computer chair. <br /><br />I guess I could go start cleaning up for the party tomorrow. But I think I would rather lay out. <br /><br />I want to see Shrek 3. Its gonna need to happen. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:924043 2007-05-23T13:57:10Z 2007-05-23T15:38:16Z So work called me off today. Census must be low or something. Kinda sucks cause I really need the money, but I guess that's what PTO is for. <br /><br />I wanted to lay out all day and study. But now it looks like it might rain? The house really needs cleaned, (outside) but I have no idea how to go about doing it. Guess I'll experiment. <br /><br />Our housewarming party is Satuday. 3- whenever. Stop by sometime. Bring beer if you want it. We're gonna grill out, and have a bonfire when it gets dark. Should be a good time. Come see my cool house! I would appreciate it if I had some people I know there. It's mostly gonna be Blake's friends. Call if ya need directions. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:923835 2007-05-19T23:22:08Z 2007-05-19T23:22:08Z So I got my hair done again. <br />It's really blonde this time. <br />I think I like it this blonde? I'm not sure. <br />but I am sure,that if it's gonna be like this, I need a tan. <br /><br /><a name="cutid1"></a><br /><img src="http://a200.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/51/l_b177492df55db38b0e4914c7b1e48007.jpg" /><br /><br /><br /><br /><img src="http://a270.ac-images.myspacecdn.com/images01/15/l_333943956ec1129b5a1523db41b0b67d.jpg" /><br /> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:923609 2007-05-18T18:20:47Z 2007-05-18T18:20:47Z Anyone know where I could get a part-time job, that'd be willing to work with my current work schedule? <br />I just need somewhere to give me some hours this summer. The hospital cant give me full time, and I'd rather not go to another hospital unless it'd be as a Tech. <br />I don't want to do emt stuff til I can afford to live, and get all my bills paid. makes sense, right? urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:923257 2007-05-14T22:42:15Z 2007-05-14T22:42:15Z So I finally got to lay out a litte today! Its hot! I'm so excited!<br />I'm working on my country girl tan. Lines and all. Tanning beds are bad, and expensive.<br /><br />I also talked for a while with my neighbor lady. Shes really nice. Her husband and son both run squad(fire) for New Miami and Seven Mile. That will work to our advantage, seeing as blake is taking fire classes this summer, and I'm going to try to start my EMT-Basic.<br />Oh yeah. I'm gonna be a paramedic. While I wait to be a nurse.<br /><br />I finally got to go to a party this weekend. Because MATT HOOPS is home for a few days! I was so excited to see everyone. And there was no drama. It was a relief.<br /><br />Things have been going well. In the house I mean. Its almost done. I just hate cleaning. and the dishes. i HATE dishes. <br /><br />I've had this obsession with country music lately. I don't really get it. I just need something a little more relaxing. My life is stressful enough.<br /><br />Speaking of stress. I HAVE GOT to go do my study guide. Im not good at school.<br />But we all know this. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:923080 2007-05-07T20:41:17Z 2007-05-07T20:41:17Z I'm sick, again. <br />I guess that's what I get for working at a hospital tho. <br /><br />We're pretty much moved in. A few things to be done still. Like find some damn curtains that match the living room. And I need to get some baskets to put some stuff in. Don't ever live in a house with no storage. <br />Oh well tho. I love it. Love having my own place, and being able to actually see Blake on a regular basis. It's nice. <br /><br />I have an anatomy exam tomorrow. I should be studying, cause I'd like to not fail again. But theres so much to do besides study. I also think I'm going to start taking Paramedic classes in January. It's January-November, and after that I'll have my liscense. I'm going to try to take my EMT-B in the fall. That way I can get on at a firehouse, and maybe get some kind of financial aid for Butler Tech. Since I won't get into the nursing program until Winter of '09 anyway, I figure I may as well do something to benefit myself. <br /><br />Oh, we're having a cook out/ bonfire <b>house warming</b> on May 26th. The saturday of memorial day weekend. Were gonna have hot dogs, hamburgers, and that stuff. It's BYOB ( that is if you want beer), and if you want to bring some kind of side dish that would be cool, just let me know what so we don't have duplicates. And let me know if you're coming at all, that would help. It's gonna be at 3ish. We'll grill at 4ish. And have a bonfire when it's dark. So come whenever. <br /><br />Blake and I went to his dads this weekend, and we saw a stand up comic while we were there. She was in her 60s, a grandma, and she was freaking hilarious. <br /><i>"I'm not a lesbian, but I HAVE dated a few pussies."</i> urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:922791 2007-05-02T03:43:51Z 2007-05-02T03:43:51Z Tonight is my last night in my parent's house! <br />Blake got everything moved in today, and I'll move all my stuff in tomorrow. <br />Then we're going to see Rod Stewart. It's free, so what the hell. <br />Even tho I just filled my prescription yesterday, I already lost my pills. So I have to get up early and go beg the pharmacy to refill them for me, and try to convince them that I just lost them, not that I sold them or anything. I hope they believe me. <br /><br />I dont know how I'm going to sleep tonight. I dont have a tv. Its at the house. Good thing I'm really tired. <br /><br />Well. I guess that's all that is new in the exciting life of me. urn:lj:livejournal.com:atom1:dancer05:922275 2007-04-17T18:26:45Z 2007-04-17T18:26:45Z Its a sad day when I came home from school, and told my dad that I want to learn how to shoot a gun. Just incase its ever necessary. I've always thought it should be something everyone learns. But, when it's not even safe to go to school anymore? <br />What a sad world, honestly. <br />People are sick.