And when the night is cloudy there is still a light that shines on me. [entries|friends|calendar] Lacey [ userinfo | livejournal userinfo ] [ calendar | livejournal calendar ]

(2dizzy people | spin in circles) [04 Jul 2008|01:50am] [ mood | pensive ] So I absolutely love working in the ER. Its only been 3 days, but I honestly am so excited about it. The people I work with seem really great too. Theyre also very understanding to the fact that I have no idea what I'm doing. Which brings me to the next point. The reason I currently am not sleeping. I had my first real code today. I did compressions (cpr) for the first time. I wasnt going to, I told myself that the first code I would just watch, but everyone encouraged me to do it , even though I was scared. I'm glad I did. But I know that I'm not going to be able to get that image or feeling out of my head for a while, atleast until I get a little more used to this. I was up on a bed, pushing my palms into this mans chest to make his heart beat. From my point of view I could see the machine pacing, and every compression I did making his heart rate go faster. I could see the respiratory therapists pumping the bag to fill his lungs, and I could see the nurses pushing drugs to try an get him to respond. I didnt know this man, I never saw his family and I dont even remember his name. But I know that I will see his face for a long time. I cant help but feel sad that he didnt make it, and that no one was there with him while it happened. I know that not everyone can die at 90 years old surrounded by family and loved ones, but you cant help but wonder why certain things happen to certain people. I think, I hope anyway, that this kind of thing will get easier as I get more experience. But lying in bed next to blake and watching his chest rise and fall, just makes me wonder how one persons heart is beating, and another persons stopped. It does make it a little easier having faith and knowing everything happens for a reason, everyone has their time. But people going unexpectedly is something I always have, and will definetly struggle with. Learning to not take my work home with me is going to be another. Its going to be okay. This is just another one of those life lessons we all go through to make us a little stronger and a little wiser. I'm just going to have to accept the things I see, and maybe not question it too much. After all; its, for the most part, out of my hands. I just have to take what I can from it, learn what I can from it, and move on. It might just take me a little while. We all know how emotional and analytical I am. Sometimes, those are a complicated mix.

(spin in circles) [30 May 2008|10:20am] Things still suck sometimes. But I guess thats life. I am just so ready for this quarter to be over. Spring takes so long. And dealing with this financial aid shit is really annoying. Plus knowing that I'm going to be in even MORE debt by the time I graduate is just awesome. I'm bitter today. But its all going to be okay. I'm going to drink beer and see lynyrd skynyrd with my brother, sister, and dad tonight for my dads 50th birthday. Its going to be a blast. Dont let other people get you down. So not worth it.

(spin in circles) [14 May 2008|08:52am] Just letting you all know that were still alive. We moved to hamilton. and still havent gotten the internet hooked up. Time Warner is coming a week from today, so I'll be able to communicate again! Our house is amazing. And much, much, much bigger than the last. Its 3 whole bedrooms! 2 stories! crazy. If we ever get living room furniture and get everything organized we'll be having a house warming. Probably this summer. Maybe July because June is looking a little hectic for me. Anyway, things are wonderful. School will be out soon, and this will be a drunken, and exciting summer. I cant wait.

(1dizzy people | spin in circles) [13 Feb 2008|12:13pm] True love is your soul's recognition of its counterpoint in another. <3Wedding crashers. Happy Valentines Day to all you lovers. (tomorrow, I know) And Happy 3 Year Anniversary to Blake and I.

(spin in circles) [03 Jan 2008|10:17am] 2007 survey ( Read more... )

(spin in circles) [22 Nov 2007|08:45am] Linus van Pelt: In the year 1621, the Pilgrims held their first Thanksgiving feast. They invited the great Indian chief Massasoit, who brought ninety of his brave Indians and a great abundance of food. Governor William Bradford and Captain Miles Standish were honored guests. Elder William Brewster, who was a minister, said a prayer that went something like this: 'We thank God for our homes and our food and our safety in a new land. We thank God for the opportunity to create a new world for freedom and justice." Peppermint Patty: Amen.

(3dizzy people | spin in circles) every plan is a tiny prayer to father time [17 Nov 2007|07:15pm] [ mood | contemplative ] [ music | Bebe sleeping ] More and more I find myself being jealous of the people I know that are having babies, and are starting their own families. I know I always tell myself that I wouldn't be able to handle it, but all I've ever wanted out of life is to be a wife and a mommy. To have a family to raise my own way, and to deeply impact a life the way mothers do. I know that going to school is a good thing. I know that I will be glad in 2 years when the lowest I will be starting out at is 25$ an hour. I know I will be glad when I can afford to have the house I want, and the cars I want. I know I will be glad when Blake and I won't have to struggle when we decide to have babies. But something inside just pulls at me every time I see a pregnant woman, or a young couple with a new baby. It'll come one day though. And maybe this way I'll appreciate it that much more. Working at the hospital makes me believe more and more in everything happening for a reason. I know it will work out the way it was supposed to. Speaking of school, this quarter will be over on tuesday, and I will officially be done with Anatomy and Physiology for the rest of my life. But I will still have to go through Pharmacology and Microbiology. I am having trouble deciding what to do with the next phase of my life, which seems silly because I havent even starting nursing classes yet. I guess I have plenty of time to figure that out. Oh, and OSU killed Michigan today. That makes me happy. Somehow, I love football. Especially college. Thanksgiving is thursday, my favorite day of the year is friday, (shopping!) and christmas is coming soon. I LOVE this time of year! Hooray to having my own place to decorate however the hell I want!

(1dizzy people | spin in circles) [19 Sep 2007|10:09am] I just realized I haven't updated in over a month. I never update anymore. But I check it probably every day or every other day. I have pink eye. And it really sucks. I had to call off. I never have a real check anymore. I have been cleaning all morning instead of studying. I need to finish cleaning so that I can study, but I took an online detour, and now I'm actively putting it off. Evening classes are much harder to go to than morning classes. I dont think I'll be able to do this anymore. haha. But winter quarter I'm going to take Pharm online. That will be good for me. No class is a good class. The end of this month is going to be a hard time. It'll be one year since my grandma's passing, and 2 years for my grandpa. I dont know if its easier or harder to deal with, them being so close together. I'm going to try to occupy myself a little more this fall. I am really excited for halloween. and the Ren fest. and thanksgiving. and CHRISTMAS. Heck yeah. I think we are going to an apple fest this weekend? I love fall festivals. Its the best. Alright thats enough. Hope all is well for everyone else.

(spin in circles) [10 Aug 2007|12:44pm] party stuff ( Read more... )

(spin in circles) [08 Aug 2007|11:17am] At Blake's step-dad's house. I'll find directions somewhere if you need them. It's on hamilton-mason. It's not hard to find. Were staying outside. In the field. Bring a tent if you want to stay. Did I mention it's a DOUBLE kegger? So bring 5 bucks if you want to drink. And... you should come so its not just Blakes friends.

(1dizzy people | spin in circles) [30 Jul 2007|09:47am] So just got home last night. It was really neat. Rage was crazy. Public enemy and Wu Tang were crazy too. Cypress hill and the roots. + all the hundred others we saw. I mostly hung out in the grass on the side and made some hippie friends, but hey, its what I do. New York was okay. If you've seen it on tv, you've seen it. It's loud, dirty, and smoggy. you can't breathe. People are really big assholes. But I loved china town. Its like a huge flea market. Everything is soo cheap. I finally got a d+g purse, but it rained on the day i was gonna finish shopping so I couldnt get sunglasses or a wallet. Or anyone souveniors. =( Blake and I rode the horse carriage in central park, and then walked back to the hotel 11 blocks in the POURING rain. It was nice though. <3 us time in far away places. Saw alot of cool things though. Most of them in the rain. Trump tower(beautiful!!), rockefellar center, louis vuiton, nbc studios, carnegie hall, central park- which was amazing btw. Next time I go there, i want to go spend alot of the walking around the park.. time square. Saw the naked cowboy. Rode a subway and a bus. The boys wouldnt take a taxi. Got attack by a chinese lady trying to give me a massage... All in all it was a fun trip. Oh yeah, and thursday Ivy, drew, kelcie and I went to see Eight Days a Week. The beatles tribute band. It was the most fun I've had in a really long time. Ivy and I danced and sang by the stage the entire time. a few others in the crowd came up too, but mostly everyone else sat stone faced and bored. Screw them. I had a great time. haha. Does best buy sell forget cassettes? I want the new cd.

(2dizzy people | spin in circles) [26 Jul 2007|02:42pm] So at Midnight tonight, we are leaving for New York City to go see Rage Against the Machine. I am so excited. I will take lots of pictures. So expect them. <3 me!

(4dizzy people | spin in circles) [12 Jul 2007|06:18pm] Is anything going on tonight? I need something to do..

(2dizzy people | spin in circles) [08 Jul 2007|01:37pm] I love when drunk, knife-weilding rednecks come to my door at 2 in the morning and want to fight my boyfriend in the street because he thinks we stole his cat and lied to him about it. What. The. Fuck. So now theres an angry redneck across the street who wants to kill Blake. Because when he came to the door at 11, and said he was looking for a YELLOW cat, we said we havent seen one. Maybe because the cat we found, at KROGER, is orange and white? As you can guess, said rednecks got more wasted, and came back at 2am and trespassed on my property, stole the cat out of the cage in the back, and then came to the door, trying to kill my boyfriend. Now were afraid hes going to come back with his redneck friends and do something to me, blake, the dog, or the house. I think we might be moving. Great. My life is insane. Charles where were you when we needed you? haha.

(spin in circles) [21 Jun 2007|07:45pm] Charles, Tony, Sara, Blake and myself are gonna have a fire tonight, and have a few beers at our place. So anyone come by if you want. Just hangin out. Call me if you need directions. <3me!

(6dizzy people | spin in circles) [21 Jun 2007|09:40am] Depending on which day I'm off work, who wants to go see Forget Cassettes with me? One of these days Jul 12 2007 8:00P THE PEARL Dayton, Ohio Jul 13 2007 8:00P SOUTHGATE HOUSE Cincinnati, Ohio

(spin in circles) [07 Jun 2007|08:35am] Even though everyone that reads this, probably read's charles' too... Were tryin to get people together to go bowling tonight. Probably 7ish. Maybe dinner too? whatever. let one of us know if you want to go.

(3dizzy people | spin in circles) [25 May 2007|02:35pm] Living in a house with no air conditioning kind of sucks. We have one window unit, probably gonna have to buy some more. It's not so bad yet, but I just know that when July comes, it's gonna be terrible. Today was my last 8 hour shift. Goin back to 12s. I am not excited. I have a new found obsession. Being a nosy neighbor. Its just too easy when we all live so close. and the house across the street is in perfect view from my computer chair. I guess I could go start cleaning up for the party tomorrow. But I think I would rather lay out. I want to see Shrek 3. Its gonna need to happen.

(spin in circles) [23 May 2007|08:52am] So work called me off today. Census must be low or something. Kinda sucks cause I really need the money, but I guess that's what PTO is for. I wanted to lay out all day and study. But now it looks like it might rain? The house really needs cleaned, (outside) but I have no idea how to go about doing it. Guess I'll experiment. Our housewarming party is Satuday. 3- whenever. Stop by sometime. Bring beer if you want it. We're gonna grill out, and have a bonfire when it gets dark. Should be a good time. Come see my cool house! I would appreciate it if I had some people I know there. It's mostly gonna be Blake's friends. Call if ya need directions.

(spin in circles) [19 May 2007|06:19pm] So I got my hair done again. It's really blonde this time. I think I like it this blonde? I'm not sure. but I am sure,that if it's gonna be like this, I need a tan. ( Read more... )

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